For a very long time, I thought the key to having good personal style was ensuring I had all the latest trends. I thought I would finally love my wardrobe if I just bought this one item! But as I chased this dream wardrobe, the void just seemed to be getting bigger and bigger.
Most days, I still felt as though I had nothing to wear, and I felt the urge to buy new items often to help “fix” my style. I realized I wasn’t doing something right, and that I finally needed to work out how to find my personal style.
So I embarked on my personal style journey to uncover what clothes were right for me. And today I want to share a step-by-step guide to help you do the same, so you can also curate your dream wardrobe and always have something to wear!
If you want further style advice after reading this post, check out my e-book here.
If you’ve ever stared at your closet for what feels like an eternity, unable to decide what to wear, you’re not alone, and this guide is for you!
There are 8 steps in this guide, and each step is actionable and includes questions to ask yourself along the way. This is intended to be completed over multiple days or weeks. Take your time.
Feel free to to download the free PDF Workbook to go along with this, otherwise get out a pen and paper.
Table of contents:
- Start With What You Already Have
- Assess Your Lifestyle
- Describe Your Ideal Personal Style (3 style words)
- Finding Inspiration
- Colour Palette
- Creating Your Personal Style Character
- Declutter
- Create Your Wardrobe Wishlist
- Shopping (Go Slow)
The Guide: How to Find Your Personal Style
1. Start with What You Already Have
Our first step is to access what you already have to work out what is currently working for you.
Picture this: I’m standing in front of my overflowing closet, staring at a sea of clothes. It’s a Saturday morning, and I’m already running late to meet friends. Sound familiar?
If you were put in this situation, what are your never-fail, ride-or-die items that you would reach for in a rush?
For me, it’s my vintage denim jacket, my beige cardigan, or in summer, it’s my floral wrap dress which I always feel amazing in. I also love my basic white ribbed tank top, with denim jeans and styled up with my favourite accessories. These are my never-fail items that I like to grab in a rush.
Task 1:
So the first task I want you to do is closet research. Take an hour or so to go through your closet and identify your favourite pieces. Use the questions below to help you learn more about what’s working for you. (Download the free PDF here to complete your tasks, or get a pen and paper).
Reflective Questions:
- What are the top four pieces you always find yourself reaching for?
- Are there any recurring styles, colours or fits in your favourite items?
- How do these pieces make you feel when you wear them?
Note: don’t start decluttering yet. I know it might feel tempting, but there’s still work to do before you let go of any items not working for you. If you feel the need to remove anything from your closet at this point, pack it up in a box and store it away for now, rather than donating or selling it.
Task 2: Style Evolution (optional)
This is an optional task, but it can be eye-opening and interesting to do. So I do recommend doing it.
I want you to go back as far as you can on your social media platforms or camera rolls and screenshot images of your outfits.
I did this from my early 20s to my early 30s. I then flicked through all the images and watched my style evolution. When I did this I looked for patterns and tried to locate images that made me say “oh yes I feel like me there!” This is a great way to try to identify what your authentic style might be. Give it a go!
2. Assess Your Lifestyle
Lifestyle is a really important part of personal style. It is the one thing that has the biggest effect on our personal style journey as we grow up. When our lives change (jobs, cities, babies, health etc), so does our wardrobe.
But here’s the thing, if your lifestyle changes, your whole personal style doesn’t need to change as well. You just need to adapt your pieces and maybe add in a few additional practical pieces.
But for now, let’s talk about your current lifestyle (and if you are in the middle of a lifestyle transition, think more so about what your new lifestyle will be like).
Consider your daily activities, your job, the weather, and your passions when defining your style. If you’re a fitness fanatic, activewear might dominate your wardrobe. If you’re a mum like me, comfortable yet put-together outfits might take centre stage.
Task 1:
The first task for this section is to do a lifestyle assessment. I want you to write down a list of your typical daily activities. So for me, this would be “going to the park with my son.” For you, this might be, “going to my 9-5 job.” Now make a list of your less frequent activities, for example, “going out for drinks with friends”.
Now look at your current wardrobe and evaluate whether or not it matches your current lifestyle. Use the questions below to help you with this evaluation.
Reflective Questions:
- What are the dominant activities in your daily life? And how much % (roughly) does your wardrobe consist of appropriate items for these activities? Is it balanced? Do you have too many items for an activity that is not part of your lifestyle anymore? (for me this was high heels, they’re just not practical for me anymore).
- Do your clothes currently accommodate your lifestyle needs? Is there any part of your lifestyle/frequent activities that you often struggle to dress for?
- How can your wardrobe be adapted to seamlessly transition from one activity to another? (eg: work outfits transitioning to date night etc)
3. Describe Your Ideal Personal Style
Choosing Your Words
Choosing 3/4 descriptive words to describe your style is a common technique many people use to help them develop their style. The ‘3 word method’ was first coined by New York based stylist, Allison Bornstein.
I have done this before and it helped me understand myself more clearly, and most of all, assisted when making decisions about whether or not to purchase items in the future.
These style words are not set in stone, they can adapt as you grow and change, but you want to actively be thinking about them and choosing whether they still match your lifestyle and style preferences, and then change them if needed.
Note: your style is NOT completely defined by these 3/4 words! They are just a guide to help you. Keep that in mind.
My current 3/4 words: minimal, undone, effortlessly casual
Task:
Write down 3 words to describe your preferred style and how you want to feel wearing your clothes.
Take a moment to think about how you want to feel when you slip into your favourite outfit. Confident, carefree, powerful? Write it down and let these words be your guiding light for the tasks to follow. Use the questions below to help you choose your words.
Note: If you choose 4 words that’s okay too. But choose no more than 4. (I know what it’s like being indecisive!)
Reflective Questions:
- How do you want to feel when wearing your clothes?
- Do you have any style muses/icons? How would you describe their style? (Use these descriptive words if they resonate with you)
List of descriptive words to define your style: (there are many more than this though!)
Boho, bold, casual, chic, classy, clean, cute, calm, crisp, colourful, comfortable, delicate, edgy, elegant, effortless, ethereal, elevated, feminine, glamorous, modern, minimalistic, modest, quirky, romantic, simple, sporty, timeless, polished, relaxed, vibrant, vintage.
4. Finding Inspiration
We all need a little push when it comes to inspiration, right? My go-to source is Pinterest. (It’s certainly not the only place to find inspiration, but it’s a good starting point).
Task 1:
Your next task is to create a mood board on Pinterest. But here’s the catch, the way you are going to start this Pinterest board is by using your current favourite pieces from the first task back in step 1.
What do search for to find inspiration?
So open Pinterest and type in the search “[your favourite item] outfit ideas”. So for me, it would be “vintage denim jacket outfit ideas.” Then it’s time to scroll and pin. Do this for all your favourite items.
Pin images that resonate with you, that inspire you, that make you get excited about fashion! Remember you don’t need to be able to re-create these outfits from head to toe. The idea is that once these images are all together, they’re going to create a mood board, to help you see visually where you want your style to go.
Next search for…
Use your 3 style words to search for inspiration on Pinterest. For example “minimalistic outfit ideas”, “timeless outfit ideas” etc. Get pinning!
Next search for…
Use your lifestyle to search for inspiration on Pinterest. For example “comfortable mum outfit ideas”. Remember to only pin what you truly like! It’s okay to Pin nothing if nothing is inspiring you. This is about finding YOUR style, we don’t want to confuse it by just pinning for the sake of it.
Note: If you’re plus size, it can be helpful to add “plus size” into your search terms to also see inspiration from women who may have a similar body shape to you.
Note: If you don’t want to use Pinterest, you could also try to do this on Instagram. I just personally think the search feature on Pinterest is way better (as it is a search engine, as opposed to a social media platform).
Note: Inspiration isn’t limited to online platforms. I’ve found gems in vintage fashion magazines and TV series and even stumbled upon unique styles while people-watching (Ha!) Your inspiration could be anywhere – from an interior design image to the artwork in a museum. Let the world around you be your guide.
I made a helpful video on different places to find outfit inspiration. You can watch it here (or below).
Now re-evaluate your board: Once you’re done pinning it’s time to step back and take a look at your mood board. Use the questions below to learn more. (When you are going through your mood board if something sticks out as not being right, remove it!)
Note: if anything on your board doesn’t match your lifestyle, it could be appearing because it’s your ‘fantasy self’ – be sure not to create a mood board that represents your fantasy self. Remove any images that could be your fantasy self.
Reflective Questions:
- What patterns or themes emerge from your Pinterest board?
- Are your 3 descriptive words met in this mood board? OR is there another word/theme that sticks out more? (this might surprise you and is a good reason to step back and see the full picture)
- Is there a clear colour palette emerging? (it’s okay if there’s not, just identify if there is or isn’t)
- Are there any particular pieces of clothing that you don’t own, that repeatedly appear on your board?
5. Colour Palette
Why is a colour palette important?
My wardrobe was once a mishmash of every shade imaginable. It was wild! I never really put much thought into the colours I was buying. I would just see something I liked, and buy it without thinking. If it was red, purple, green, blue. Didn’t matter to me!
I think my style truly started to take shape when I stood back and analyzed the colours in my wardrobe, and thought about what colours looked good on me and what I enjoyed wearing. Earthy tones spoke to my love for nature, black and white made me feel comfortable and elegant, and I finally found my perfect shade of blue.
Being thoughtful about my colours has helped my style feel more intentional, and has made future shopping SO much easier.
Putting some work into your colour palette will make getting dressed so much easier as well. You’ll find that you can mix and match your clothes easily because the colours match.
Colour Palette Basics
Colour is a huge topic, I want to keep it simple here and give you the first steps.
If you are just starting out with figuring out your colour palette, I would start by identifying the statement/accent colours that you love to wear. These often work great in statement pieces and accessories. Picture an orange scarf or a red shirt. (Remember ‘statement’ can be interpreted differently for everyone. For me, the blue dress above is a statement colour, for others that might be hardly a statement at all. Keep your own likes and preferences in mind. No one is telling you that you HAVE to have bright colours in your wardrobe, and no one is telling you that you HAVE to wear black).
There are many resources online to help you decide what colours work well for your skin tone, but if you haven’t already, try standing in front of a mirror in natural light and hold the colour up against your neck. Does it wash out your face or does it make your skin glow?
With that being said, rules are made to be broken. If you find information online that says you can’t wear red, but you LOVE red and always feel great in red, then break the rules!!! We are building a wardrobe you love, so follow your gut.
Task 1: Reflection
It’s time to work out your favourite colours. I want you to check your current wardrobe favourites and check your Pinterest mood board and see if any colours are repeated. Write these down and write down any colours you know you love to wear.
If you have done some research online or a colour analysis against your skin, write down what your favourite statement/accent colours are.
Note: Be careful listening to other people’s opinions on what colours you should wear unless it’s coming from a really honest place. What I mean by this is, that some people will project their own opinions of colours onto you and your style, like telling you to “stop wearing so much black” or “you should wear more colour”. If you are wearing what you like and what makes you feel good, then don’t listen to what other people have to say (trust me I’m talking from experience, I changed my whole wardrobe once because I listened to too much of what other people said to me, and it was a year of real confusion with my style, and I really disliked my wardrobe).
However, with that being said, some people can give really helpful advice or suggestions. For example, you could get a family member or friend with a good eye to help you choose which colours suit your skin most. Take them to the shops with you, hold up different colours against your face and take notes. You could also get a sales assistant in the shop to help you.
Reflective Questions:
- Which colours currently dominate your wardrobe? Are there any that you never wear?
- Are there any items in your wardrobe now that you are keeping because you love the style, however, the colour isn’t right and you never wear it?
Task 2: Choosing Your Colours
Time to choose your accent colours, your main colours and your neutral colours. Don’t let this overwhelm you, you can always come back and change this at any point. Just give it a go and see what you come up with! (You can view my current colour palette below too).
Choose your colours in the following order:
Accent colours: these are colours that make your skin pop and colours that make you feel confident. These colours can be used in pieces that you can wear as a statement or in your accessories. (choose approx 2-5 colours)
Main colours: think back to your 3 descriptive style words. What mood did you want to create with them? Use these to help you choose your colours. Your main colours are your favourite colours to wear, what colour is currently dominating your wardrobe? What colour stood out in your favourite pieces? (choose approx 2-3 colours)
Neutral colours: the neutral pieces in your wardrobe are there to support your more colourful vibrant items. Having a good selection of neutral basics will make getting dressed a lot easier. Choose your neutrals last. A few examples of neutrals may be black, white, beige, navy, grey. These also might overlap in your main colours and that’s okay. (choose approx 2-3 colours)
Things to consider…
Note: when choosing each colour, think about how it will go with other colours in your palette. Do the statement shades match with your main colours? Remember that all colours come in different shades, so experiment with different shades of a colour to find what you like most.
Note: your colour palette isn’t set in stone, it’s just a guide to help you create a more cohesive wardrobe and make mixing and matching much easier. Your colours for each section can overlap. You don’t have to add super vibrant colours. What’s vibrant for one person, might be too dull for another. And you can always wear colours that aren’t in your colour palette in the future if something sparks your interest.
Where to create this colour palette:
I recommend using Canva. It’s free, and SO easy to use for anyone. (I created mine in Canva too, you can follow this link to create a free account).
Reflective Questions:
- Which colours do you wear the most? (use these for your main colours)
- Which colours do you like to use as a statement/and or in accessories? (use these as your accent colours)
(Colour Palette Source: The Curated Closet – by Anuschka Rees)
6. Creating Your Personal Style Character
Now it’s time to put everything you’ve learnt about your style preferences into a distinct style character. Use your 3 style words, your colour palette and your lifestyle to describe this character. Go over all the questions you have answered to understand your preferences more.
Task: Describe your style in 1-3 sentences
Here is my personal style character as an example: [She is classic, casual and comfortable, with a minimalistic and undone aesthetic. Neutral tones dominate, with additional shades of blue. Her style is easygoing yet put-together, to get through those busy days with a toddler!]
7. Declutter
It’s finally time to declutter. I think a lot of people make the mistake of decluttering first before they have done the important work to figure out their style preferences. (I know this because I’ve done it myself in the past!)
Everyone’s capabilities of decluttering are different, depending on how many pieces you own and how much time you have. You may want to take everything out at once and dedicate an entire day to your wardrobe, or you may want to just do a category of clothes at a time. Choose a method that works best for you.
Task: Re-evaluate each piece in your wardrobe.
Your task here is to evaluate each piece in your wardrobe. Back in the first step, you chose your favourite pieces. You know why you love these pieces already. It’s time to focus on the pieces that aren’t necessarily your favourites and see whether they make the cut.
Have a yes, no and maybe pile (and possibly an alterations pile too!)
Your yes items should match your new personal style character that you created above.
What to do with the maybe pile? I personally love to store my maybe pile for a few months. Call it a probational style separation. You will temporarily put your maybe pile away in a box, somewhere out of sight. Set a reminder in your phone to check on it in a few months. Then after a few months open your box, go through each item individually and re-evaluate. Trust me when I say that “time will tell”. You will see these clothes in a new way, you will either know you love them or know they are no longer for you, and it will be a much easier goodbye. In the meantime, if you are constantly thinking about any items you have stored away you can easily bring them back out.
Note: If you’re in a position where you feel your entire wardrobe needs an overhaul and nothing matches your personal style character, be sure not to declutter everything at once. Keep a few “okay” items that you intend to replace one day. And don’t leave yourself with hardly any clothes. This will put you at risk of buying new items too quickly and making the wrong decisions (we’ll talk more about slow, conscious shopping in the next step).
Questions to ask while decluttering:
- The classic: “Does it bring me joy?”
- Does it make me feel confident? If yes, keep it. If no, ask why not? (asking why is really important for your future personal style evolution. This is how you work out your preferences. Maybe it doesn’t make you feel confident because it’s not your favourite silhouette or the material looks cheap etc).
- Does this item spark any negative emotions? (I recently had to declutter clothes that I wore postpartum. I suffered from PPD after having my son, and some clothes brought up some negative feelings. I thanked them, thanked the universe that I was better now, and happily donated/sold these items where necessary).
- Does this item fit my lifestyle?
- Is this item comfortable?
- Is this item in line with my new personal style character?
Have you been holding onto items you don’t wear?
Something that I often found when decluttering, was items that I was holding onto because I loved the style, however, the material was uncomfortable/itchy, so I never wore them. This was a big learning lesson for me and fabric is now something I pay close attention to. Do you have items you don’t wear because they are uncomfortable? Find these pieces, and write down what you like about the style, and what you dislike about the comfort levels.
Another area many people hold onto is, items they love but no longer fit into. I did this with a lot of denim jeans. After I had my baby, I no longer fit into many of my favourite jeans. It took me a good year and a half to realise I wasn’t going to fit into them again and that I needed to let them go. When I did, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
Saying goodbye to items that don’t fit anymore can help you shed the expectations and embrace who you currently are.
Bonus: See my tips for wardrobe organisation here!
8. What is Missing? Create Your Wishlist
As your wardrobe starts to take shape and you begin understanding your style preferences more, there will inevitably be gaps to fill. Before racing to buy things (and potentially making mistakes), I want you to write down a list of what you think is now missing from your wardrobe.
A lot of the gaps might be good quality basic pieces that can be worn with your favourite statement pieces that you already own. Or you may find that you already have a good foundation of basics, and you need to focus on bringing in a few statement items to spice up your wardrobe a bit.
When bringing in new items from now on you want to be strategic. You will no longer just buy a top because you like the look of it. You will be thinking about whether it matches your personal style, and whether it can be worn in multiple ways with items you already own. Basically, you want to ensure every new item fits seamlessly into your wardrobe.
Task: Create a Wardrobe Wishlist
I want you to find a place that is convenient for you, to store a list of items that you want/need. This may be in the notes section of your phone, in a Google sheet, or on a notepad. Whatever works for you, but I suggest the easiest is the notes section of your phone so it travels with you.
For each item you write down on your wishlist, add the date next to it, so you know how long it has been on your wishlist. Also, if you know the specific item you want, add the link or the brand. (Use the reflective questions below to help you understand what’s missing).
Why is it so important to create a wishlist?
A wishlist not only helps you keep track of the items you want/need. But it also acts as a speed hump for buying items. It’s a good way of helping you curve impulse purchases, and let’s you sit on a decision for a while.
Sometimes, I leave items on my wishlist for a few days, a few weeks or months. And I’ve even left items on my wishlist for a few years before buying them! If you’re still thinking about an item months or years later with the same desire, it’s safe to say it will be a good investment for your personal style.
Just like your colour palette, your wardrobe wishlist isn’t carved in stone. Items will be removed and added. Your wishlist allows you to make smarter decisions. Don’t skip this valuable step.
Reflective Questions:
- Which key pieces would enhance your current wardrobe?
- Are you lacking good quality wardrobe basics?
- Do these additions align with your new personal style character?
- In what order will you prioritize acquiring these wishlist items?
- Are there any statement pieces/colours you would like to keep an eye out for?
9. Shopping
Go Slow, This Takes Time, One Item at a Time
Now, the part you’ve all been waiting for – shopping! But here’s the catch: slow and steady wins the race. Each piece you add to your wardrobe from now on should be a conscious choice, a reflection of your evolving style. My approach? One item at a time… another reason to love #slowfashion!
I used to be a fast-fashion addict, jumping on every trend bandwagon. Now, I savour the process. I wait for a long time to try a new trend, to see whether I still like it months down the track.
I also love finding authentic pieces in second-hand shops, as well as carefully choosing my fabrics, my colours and my shapes, now that I know what works well for me. And I truly go slow to curate my style further. Every purchase is a thoughtful addition to my style story.
When shopping in person, take your time in the fitting room. Dance around a little, sit down, stretch – ensure that each piece not only looks good but feels good too. Trust me; your future self will thank you for it.
Embrace the Personal Style Journey
Now that you have ventured into the depths of your closet, danced with inspiration, explored your colour palette, aligned your style with your lifestyle, defined your personal style character, and created a wishlist to guide your shopping adventures, you should be feeling much more clear about your style. But the road to discovering your personal style is a marathon, not a sprint, and as the weeks and months go on, you will continue to fine-tune your style even more.
Don’t expect things to happen overnight, experiment with different things and enjoy the journey. Don’t have regrets about your style choices – every mistake is a lesson!
Remember that your style is uniquely yours. It’s a reflection of your personality, your experiences. Embrace the changes and wear your style with confidence.
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